Sunday, September 17, 2006

Oh yeah, I posted a video

Hehe... :D

Thinking about personal integrity again

Well, the first post is here.

Last week at church, someone stood up to read 1 Peter 2:12. I'll quote the entire passage regarding the subject at hand.
2 Peter 2:9-12

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.

Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.
It hit me hard. A couple of people would know how I fail in terms of my personal integrity. Some areas of failure, some more people know, while other areas, less people know. I speak with jechan, tepid hobbes, and others.

I look at this world and see so many negatives all the time in so many people that outweigh the positives, I cannot help but feel helpless. And what people would always say to me in the past, "Bobby, you are an encourager!"; well, is that still true? It certainly doesn't read like it, does it? :)

This is God's grace and mercy. In that while we fail Him, HE is still faithful. While we have no reason to receive love, after people have stopped loving us because we are so problematic, difficult, and selfish, HE still loves us. I have yet to understand it.

I remember listening to an actress speak at the BC Student Forum. She turns down potential "big break" movie roles because she cannot accept certain scenes in the movie, nor the subject matter of the movie. And it tears her heart because every actress is always looking for her big break to fame. But she wants to stand true to herself, and God, and have integrity in her faith. And she broke down crying as she said, "And when I'm with God in heaven, I just want to hear Him say, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.'"

I am sorry for the people I have hurt, and I wish that I could meet with every single one of them to apologize and make amends. I fear I will never get that chance with most, if not all of them. And while I am only able to live with myself through accepting the grace of God, I pray that my actions and image will not bias their image of Christians and thereby God. God gives me grace to live with my faults as I work to improve them. But what do we do in the meantime while they are still faulty?

We are weak. We see it every day. We have amazing accomplishments, but in the end, all we have are petty trophies and riches while the important parts of our lives fall apart.
What If I Stumble?
DC Talk

[the greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is christians who acknowledge jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.]

What if i stumble?
What if i fall?

Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the lord?
Or do i simply serenade for things i must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame

Cause i see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

What if i stumble, what if i fall?
What if i lose my step and i make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if i stumble, and what if i fall?

What if i stumble, what if i fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if i stumble, what if i fall?

Father please forgive me for i can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you've carved
Why do i dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time i cannot disguise
All the doubt i'm feeling

(repeat chorus)

What if i stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that (2x)

I hear you whispering my name [you say]
"my love for you will never change" [never change]

(repeat chorus 2x)

What if i stumble, what if i fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if i stumble, what if i fall?
You are my comfort, and my god

Is this one for the people, is this one for the lord?
Thank you Lord for your grace, mercy, forgiveness, and strength. Turn me into a man of integrity.