Tuesday, February 08, 2005

The Prodigal Comes Back

Daniel is posting again. And it looks for real. I have no idea what happened to him while he wasn't posting. I have four theories:

1. Aliens abducted him.
This wouldn't be so disturbing if it weren't for the fact that Daniel's capable of creating revolutionary weaponry. I'm worried that the aliens may have brainwashed him into giving them our military secrets. Not that Canada has any, so maybe we're safe.

2. He was out saving the world.
Kudos to him, he's a brave guy. While the rest of us were sitting on our butts at home watching reruns of Friends or playing World of Warcraft, Daniel was in Antarctica stopping evil terrorist plans to utilize Alien and Predator technologies for the annihilation of computer geeks everywhere. Computer geeks run the Internet. Without them, there would be no more Internet. We would all die. The next time you play World of Warcraft, think of him.

3. He finally achieved burnout.
I wouldn't be surprised. The guy is crazy. He borders on stupid. What kind of an idiot lives on 2 hours of sleep a night anyway?

4. It was a scientific accident.
While trying to modify the circuits in his motherboard to turn his room into a time machine (he does this often, trust me), Daniel electrocuted himself and somehow ended up in Sarajevo on June 28, 1914. The assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand was actually an accident. The gunman was aiming for his old best friend, who had slept with the poor guy's wife. But Daniel walked into the picture, and bumped into the gunman. I suppose it's not that big a difference, since the gunman missed in the original version of history and hit Ferdinand anyway. But with Daniel bumping into him, the guy ended up shooting the brick corner of a building, from which a chip broke off and nailed Ferdinand right in the left temple. Chee, Daniel. You had a chance to prevent World War 1 and World War 2, but you didn't. Instead, you contributed to the cause. I shake my head in disbelief. Who knows why it took so long for him to get back. I mean, he had a friggin time machine. He could have been back 10 years ago if he wanted.

1 comment:

  1. You have an overactive - no, scratch that, hyperactive - imagination. :p