Thursday, December 16, 2004

Standup Comics

I should really be studying. But I just watched Last Comic Standing. 10 push-ups for you!

I was at MSSC Appreciation Night earlier this year and this guy asked me if I was willing to standup comedy at MSN. MSN? Erm, sure, ok... what's your MSN account, I'll add you to my list. Nono, MSN is Malaysia-Singapore Night. Ah!

That blew me away. Wow, someone asked me if I was willing to do standup comedy in front of an audience!

But I'm not really that funny.
Don't worry, just do what you did today!
There'll be an audience of about 300 people.
Whoah... freaky.

Um, right.

Well, over the next few days, I gave it some serious thought. And I tried to make up some jokes. And I ended up gaining a ton of respect for comedians. Do you know HOW HARD it is to make an original joke?? And not just that, but be able to do it on the fly? Maybe there's truth to the statements I've read on the high depression level of comedians. Am I really funny? Did that make sense? Will they laugh at me? Am I going to have an awkward 15 minutes of silence up there? Minna sent me a episode of Last Comic Standing, the one where they have to perform at a laundromat. To make people laugh at a place where they don't want to be bothered, I don't know if I'd ever be able to do that.

Here's the best I could come up with during those few days of thought after the MSSC event:
Remember World Cup 2002, and all those Korean people running around with their red t-shirts? Calgary, you thought you had a sea of red during the Stanley Cup playoffs, you ain't seen nothing! Look at photos of the celebrations in South Korea, now THAT'S a sea of red! So I was just wondering about this sea of red, and how every single t-shirt had their motto, "Be the Reds!" Every morning South Korea won a game, you'd see all these Koreans tramping all over downtown waving flags and screaming their song. Can you imagine what some America-lovin, gun-totin CIA rookie could have been thinking?

"Damn! Get me HQ! These darn Canadians are in league with those bastard Chinese Commies! They're all wearing shirts that say 'Be the Reds', dammit!"

Dude, we're Korean. You fought for us in a big war. You station troops in our country. You know?

This is what happens when football does not use a round, black and white ball in the US. Folks, be careful with your sports.
I came up with some more stuff, but would any of it really sell onstage? Would the MSSC guy ask me again? I dunno. Would I consider it if he asked me again? Hell yeah. But I'd probably die on stage. :)
Hey, you know that the #1 fear in North America is public speaking, right? It's feared more than death. See, I'm in the awkard situation on this stage where I'm supposed to make you laugh at me. Usually, people don't want that, it's embarrassing. So let's get this straightened out right now. Here, I actually want you to laugh at me, or else I give in to North America's #1 fear. If you stay quiet, I'll have a high incentive to commit suicide. You wouldn't want that, it's not a pretty sight to see someone try to strangle himself with a microphone cord. The face turns blue for one thing. But more importantly, he starts waving his arms and flops like a fish, so that you're not sure if he's really dying or gone schizophrenic and dancing to imaginary music.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alive! Staying alive! Step to the side! Everyone wants to stay alive!
/do funky dance routine

Trust me, you want to hear me tell bad jokes more than you want to see my dancing.
Yeah, I'd probably die. But, still, it would be cool to try. :D

edit: Bleh, now that I've had people dash all my hopes and dreams by telling me how unfunny these routines are, perhaps I'll stick with the weeping under my bed.


  1. stay funny bobby! stay funny!!

    y'know.. I can somehow imagine seeing you up on stage facing a huge crowd of people.. man.. 5 minutes of awkward silence where you can hear a pin drop.. now, THAT's torture.. :S

    come to think of it, it seems that the best comedians are those who don't make it obvious that they're trying to make people laugh.. it's like, they're able to make it come out naturally... that you can't help but laugh with them (or at them.. depending on their style of comedy)..

    heheh but yeah.. get some practice first.. where no one knows you ^^

  2. yes yes, do a stand-up on MSN event, you'll be loved, trust me... I'll be your #1 fan anyways, and I'll kick their *** if they throw stuff at you :)

  3. David's in charge of the MSN, I'll make sure personally that you'll get your stage time :) Trust me, it'll work!

  4. Do you want me to friggin die??