Possibly the strangest experience I've had for the last couple of weeks. Try sneaking a large heavy object out of somebody's living room at a time past midnight, out over a balcony. Covert ops is something cool to put on your resume.
K: I want you guys to help me get rid of it.
PakG1: Where you going to put it?
K: There's a bunch of old furniture being thrown out in a parking lot nearby. We'll just leave it there.
PakG1: Oh, ok.
(Two hours later, K leaves for a scouting trip)
K: (back from his scouting trip) OK, I've decided our strategy.
E: So we're supposed to go through the window?
PakG1: I suppose it won't be too much trouble. Let's do it now.
K: We'll carry it face-down, it'll be easier that way.
PakG1: I'd prefer to do it with the lights off.
L: Won't that make it look more suspicious? It's past midnight!
E: We have nothing to hide, so we shouldn't be worried about getting caught.
PakG1: Well, if we have nothing to hide, and there's no worry about what would happen if we get caught, why bother increasing our chances of getting caught anyway? I'd rather not be seen...
K: OK, we'll turn off the lights.
E: Maybe we should wear ski masks.
/L opens the sliding window door
PakG1: Dude, you gotta be kidding. That balcony looks high.
E: No, maybe we can carry it over.
PakG1: This thing??
K: One of us just needs to jump over first and then we'll pass it down that way.
/K drags large heavy object towards door, P switches off lights, and all their get shoes
/some grunting, all communication is now at whisper level
PakG1: OK, I'll jump down, and you pass it down to me.
/PakG1 jumps down and tumbles to break the fall; K and E lift large heavy object over balcony and hand it to PakG1, so that one end is in PakG1's hands, and the other end is resting on the balcony rail
E: You got it?
K: OK, I'm coming down.
/K jumps over balcony rail and goes underneath object
PakG1: OK, push it out.
/K and PakG1 manage to hold up the large heavy object between the two of them; E jumps down to join them, L is watching the house
K: OK, just walk that way.
PakG1: I'm walking backwards. I can't see anything.
E: Don't worry, I'm watching out for you.
/they walk, carrying the large heavy object; a car's headlights appear in the distance
E: Oh, crap, a car!
PakG1: Oh, great.
K: Walk to the garbage dumpster!
PakG1: What garbage dumpster? I'm tripping over my feet here!
E: Go that way!
/they stumble towards the garbage dumpster; the car turns to a side alley long before it reaches the group
K: OK, just keep walking.
E: Watch out at your feet! Careful!
/PakG1 almost trips and falls, but recovers
PakG1: Thanks. You're my eyes and ears, you know.
E: We're almost there. I see the furniture.
K: OK, keep walking. We'll put it over there.
PakG1: (still walking backwards) I can't see what you guys are talking about.
/they finally come to a large pile of furniture and gently put the large heavy object down to be one with the pile
K: OK, let's go.
/they arrive back at the balcony; L opens the sliding window door, and K climbs back onto the balcony first
E: What's this?
/E examines a part of the balcony rail bent out of shape, in towards the house; PakG1 also examines after climbing back onto the balcony
/E is grunting and trying to bend the iron back into place
PakG1: Here, we'll do it from this side and push it back out. If you brace yourself against the door, it should be easier.
K: No, don't, we don't want to break it! That'll be even worse, and then they'll start asking questions.
E: I got it.
PakG1: Here, seriously, push it from this side.
/PakG1 starts pushing bent part outwards; E climbs up onto balcony
K: No, just leave it.
/PakG1 accidentally pushes rail out too far, but quickly adjusts so that it is straight again
PakG1: See? That was easier.
/they go inside; L quickly closes the sliding window door and draws the blinds
E: Mission success!
/high fives all around