Saturday, November 27, 2004

Have you ever really loved a woman?

Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman
Bryan Adams

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
That she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
That it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
Til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
That you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
Really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her
That she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
That it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really,
Really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
Really, really, ever loved a woman?

Second post. Andrew got me thinking about a time where I was at a funeral. Strange how morbid thoughts could spout out of such wonderful sentiments, but it really was actually a beautiful moment in retrospect; hear me out. The husband and wife had only just got married, it seemed. And all of a sudden, the wife was stricken with cancer. They did everything to keep the wife alive, but in the end, she came to be with God. The husband had much difficulty dealing with this, especially since he (to my knowledge) had no understanding of Christ's love for him. I went up to him after the casket was buried and talked with him a bit. Out of courtesy, I mentioned how great a woman she had been, even though I had barely known her myself. I'll never forget the tears he tried to fight back as he stuttered, "Yes, and I LOVED her."

That was the only time in my life where I felt I truly understood how much a man loved his wife. I have no doubt that married people I know truly do love their spouses. But at this funeral, I didn't just believe it, I felt it straight to my bones. And I wonder today how many people in this world would actually be able to answer Bryan Adams truthfully. Certainly not me. Childish fantasies and petty thoughts would never be able to compare to the lifelong commitment that two people make to each other.

Now then, since English is such a limited language, let's go back to the original Greek. From Wikipedia, we can see that the ancient Greeks outlined love as:
Agape
Agape is love that God has for mankind. Only God can express this kind of love.

Eros
Eros is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing.

Philia
Philia, a dispassionate virtuous love, was developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship.

Storge
Storge is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

Xenia
In ancient Greece, the concept of xenia was extremely important. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and their guest, who could previously be strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was only expected to repay with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout myth, in particular Homer's Odyssey.

Given that the word love can be understood in so many different ways, it's easy to see how different people can use the same word and mean totally different things; they're just not on the same page. I wonder how many unworkable relationships are due to this dichotomy. And why is it that rationality goes out the window when people are locked in the throes of love?

A question that's been asked for millennia and we still don't have a satisfactory answer. Though with all the literature I've seen, I think we're coming close. Please read this. It's good for you. It puts rationality back into the works. But don't borrow it from me. I lent my copy to Amcal.
Of course, this could explain it all.
And if women who can understand this type of guy really exist in this world, I'll... run screaming into the streets, or something.

1 comment:

  1. some ppl dun know wat love is abt when they talk about love.. i so agree...

    ReplyDelete