Friday, October 29, 2004

The astounding arts

With the tenderness that only steady hands can provide, I slowly spread apart the two halves of the bagel and sliced through it with a sharp-edged knife. As I eased the two parts into the toaster slots, I made sure that the baked goods did not bend, compress, or tear, for they were too precious to handle roughly. Setting the timer, the toaster's switch was plunged down to toast the bagel to an epiphany of ecstasy. When the bagel sprang up in all of its crisp toasted goodness, the cream cheese was quickly applied, lest the bagel lose what little moisture it had left and become a stale slab of hardtack. With the cream cheese lathered over the surface of the toasted bagel's inner core, smooth and soft, yet firm, I could smell the sweet aroma of the spread rising to my longing nostrils. My jaws aching for fulfillment, I slipped the bagel into my mouth and bit into the feathery cream cheese, contrasted with the tender and rough texture of the bagel. And I knew contentment.

I just had the first bagel with cream cheese I've had in a long time. And it was good. Food is a fine art. But there are other arts as well. Like the martial arts.

I was waiting for the bus today with Mark and was reminded that I still have not found out the pizza details for Guys Night. Yay. However, also waiting there was Jean! This was really lucky because I wasn't able to attend the polisci lecture. This was for the sake of a 50 page report that was due at 12:30. We handed it in 20 minutes before class ended. Yeah. But Jean gave me her notes to photocopy, so I didn't miss out on everything. :) And then her phone rang. "Oh, I left my U-Pass there?? I'll come right now and get it!" And so she was gone. And my bus came. And I got on the bus.

When lo and behold, at the bottom of the mountain, someone gets off the bus and who says hi to me? Jean! I was completely caught by surprise and have now realized that I need to improve my genjutsu skills. I can only come up with three possible explanations for what happened and the implications are all very scary.

1. Jean is a mutant and she has the power of teleportation ala Nightcrawler. Jean having the power of teleportation is not really scary. What is scary is that this is living proof that mutants exist! As X-Men scenarios play themselves through my head, I cannot help but fear the coming war. Far be it from me to be mutantphobic. However, I am fearful of the war that will inevitably erupt between those who ARE mutantphobic and those that are not mutants, mainly because I would be caught in the middle. In such a war, you have to choose a side; you can't stay in the middle forever. Us or them. Who would I choose? The thought is too scary to even contemplate.

2. Jean is a ninja and knows kage bushin no jutsu. My biggest question is: why have the ninja seen the need to infiltrate our academic institutions? And what on earth are they doing there? Are we about to see an epic battle between ninja clans? It would kinda suck if SFU were destroyed by a giant toad or other thing summoned for some crazy ninja battle royale. And besides that, if Jean is a ninja, how many people has she assassinated? Is she really more dangerous than she appears? Under that calm perky demeanour could lie the ruthless calculations of the wiliest of ninjas. I must be cautious.

3. Jean is one of them. An agent. No human can run that fast. I know they've been getting closer and closing their net, and now I know that I can't trust her either. They can try, but they won't get me. No matter what, I'll escape the net. I have to. The very survival of mankind depends on it. If I don't succeed, my only hope is to get to the Academic Quadrangle dropbox and send the package on its way to Zion. Once in the network, no firewall will be able to stop the message from getting through. They're coming for me, but I'll be ready. I only wish Neo were still here. That treaty didn't last nearly as long as we'd hoped that it would. There is a legend that he still lives. I'm still looking for solid clues though. But maybe this message I'm carrying holds that solid clue; am I missing something? I can't let Jean know that I know. Or the jig will be up.

What a scary world we live in. Never end a sentence with a preposition too, it's bad for you.


  1. i am Confused ahaha ;) our blog relationship is apparently much like our past icq relationship Ahahha ;) - Guess who! AHAHah ;) ok never mind - it's zana ;p ahaha it drives me mental when ppl leave anonymous comments so i won't do that to you ;)

  2. Ahahaha ;p Too Funny.. yeeah i have msn.. but my contact list is full :( ... wonder what happened to my icq.. hmm. maybe i can download it again ^^ anyhoo, i'll delete someone i don't really talk to on my msn for you :D yes. feel the love ahahah ;)