Saturday, July 17, 2004

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Did you ever have one of those experiences when something catches you totally by surprise and you ask yourself, "What on earth is going on here? How did I get here??" This level of bewilderment is experienced in only very specific scenarios. Like the time Joel, Doug, and Jordan wrapped me up in duct tape. Like the time Joel, Doug, and Jordan dared me to eat the hottest sub they could make at Subway, which gave me ulcers all the next day. Like the time I hosted the ACE fashion show and tried to stop the shock from showing on my face when a girl came in wearing a skirt that looked like it was about to fall off. Dang, I wanted to die that time... or at least become invisible. Like the time I found out that Tom in Colorado was getting married. Like the day after I ate that taco from that Mexican place near Hastings and Granville. Like the day I sat on my cousin's $300 sunglasses. Like the day I almost sunk Mr. Suderman's sailboat, as his Laser passed mine.

But today was really stupendous. I taught a little girls class at church today. Well, sort of. One girl got really mad at me and the whole class ended up getting mad at me. And then this girl started crying. Imagine sitting in awkward silence for half an hour with four girls, aged 7 to 10, all mad at you. And you're trying to present a lesson and engage them in dialogue. That sucks. The whole time, I could only think, "What on earth did I do wrong to her??" Despite her constantly telling me why she was mad at me, I still didn't get it, because I didn't see how I was doing that at all; she complained of me ignoring people and not caring about other people's feelings. @@

Here I was trying to be fair to everyone and make sure that everyone was free and able to talk when they wanted. And she accused me of excluding people. It boggled my mind. Especially because we were all such good friends with each other. They're like my kid sisters, we have a lot of fun together.

So sitting there for half an hour in awkward silence... I learned a lot tonight. Especially after one of my female peers talked with the kid after class. But I still don't understand how it got to the point that it did. Things all became good after, I apologized and they forgave me for whatever I did, but it still boggles my mind. Yeah, I don't think I'm cut out to be a dad yet.... Many, many years away.

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