Thursday, June 17, 2004

So what do you look for in a girl?

The last time I got asked this question, I was very wary. It didn't sound like one of those random jooc questions. Events that followed were interesting, to say the least. I don't regret anything because I had to learn a lot. But this time, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to respond because who wants to go through lessons twice unnecessarily? What the heck do people care anyway?
Pak: Well... I don't know... Stuff. Blahblahblah.
Girl: Really? But all of my friends are like that!
Pak: Erm, you have good friends then...
Girl: I really don't understand, is it so hard to find that?
Pak: Well, let me clarify what I said... Blahblahblah.
Girl: Oh. OK, yes, that is very hard...
Pak: (thinking: I didn't even say everything)
It got me thinking. Are my standards too high? Unattainable? Yes, as someone told me before, it can seem like I'm deliberately making them impossible to achieve. It's achievable though. I've seen it. I've met perhaps four women in my entire life who could meet those standards. But circumstances never allowed for anything. Am I an idiot? There are tons of women in this world who fulfill other criteria even better.
So discussing this with a friend, why are we willing to keep waiting? How long will we be willing to wait before we break? Why must our standards be so high and why must they be those particular standards? After much consideration, it seems because I know that in the end, I won't be able to be with anybody who doesn't meet those standards (especially with the type of life I desire to live). Conversely, unless she meets those standards, she could find it very difficult to accept me, no matter what I change. Do I believe in soulmates? Heck, yeah. Although one must be careful when that word is thrown around cheaply. It's a word with a lot of baggage, don't throw it around like it's nothing.
Why get into something that you know will end abruptly when you want it to last? You shouldn't get into it in the first place then, especially if the tangible and intangible ROIs are negative, as they would be for me. Do we understand each other? Of course, I never listen to myself...
So what is my criteria anyway? Well, if I can remember... It's now become more like some sort of automatically engaged set of heuristics in my mind. Let's see what I can think of straight off the top of my head. In no particular order:
1. Christ-centredness
2. Honesty
3. Integrity
4. Loyalty
5. Humility
6. Ability to listen
7. Ability to connect with me
8. Understanding
9. Selflessness
10. Emotionally responsive
11. Ability to figure me out
12. Selflessness
13. Caring
14. Devotion
15. Openness
16. Transparency
17. Altruism
18. Patience
19. Forgiveness
20. Charitableness
21. Selflessness
22. Selflessness
23. Commitment
24. Empathy
25. Open-mindedness
26. Wide perspective
27. Righteousness
28. Selflessness
29. Selflessness
30. Selflessness
The list must go on. But I am dang sleepy... And why should I bother going into definitions? There's no point here.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. ~ Proverbs 31:10
I've been hearing this song over and over. Heard it at the bowling lanes again today. Finally, I decided to find out more about this song. And guess what I find. It's Hilary Duff that sings it... This is just wrong. :( But I like it. :)
Come Clean
Hilary Duff
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no lie
I defy
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm comimg clean, I'm coming clean
I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin
'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind
I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean
Let's go back
Back to the beginning

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